BLESSED OR CURSED

Gazing up the starry night, I wondered what to write? Since the time I decided to write this story, there has been a great deal of disappointment over one thing- the subject. From table-chairs to house, human beings to the damn world, everything crossed my mind but was never concretized. I was really disappointed. This is it? Is it the end? Before even getting started! I was still trying to find out the answer to this question. Standing in my balcony, with eyes lost in the sky, I sighed. My mind was empty. Nothing came. Then, suddenly, like a lightening bolt, a thought hit me. I was delighted at my ingenuity. A thing so near yet so distant. I finally got a subject to write upon- myself! Actually I never gave it a serious thought because I had never considered my life to be important enough to be discussed. But when you don’t have any other option, you have to choose the worst one. So, here is the story. Now it is up to the reader to decide whether it is a worthy or a worthless effort.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who was….lonely. Actually I wanted to use more adjectives to describe the character, but I decided against it. The reason behind this was that I do not want anyone to feel sorry about the boy or sympathize with him. This is an inherent human nature that someone’s plight always gains sympathetic feeling which I highly detest. I found the word lonely the most apt one. Being the only child, this loneliness was bestowed upon the child as a gift from God. But it never became a disadvantage. Maturity came as a natural consequence to it. He began thinking about the things and issues which, probably, were too trivial for other people and would have been bypassed. Since there were no friends, the thought process was focused. But he never realized that he was becoming a loner, an anti social animal. And when he realized this, the feeling started suffocating the blessed child. Then, to shed that nature and to make his parents happy, he broke the shell and moved out in the world where he could find some other beings like him. In other words, Friends. Till that time, he never knew what friendship really meant. Though he received a lot of love from his elders, but he never believed in returning. Being the only child and the centre of attraction, he became possessive. This became a serious hindrance when he entered into relationships.

When he moved out, the experience was very relaxing. He came across people who were very friendly and supportive. The sphere of being loved increased further. He cursed himself for being so late in enjoying the fruits of such a wonderful thing. Then came the moment he was waiting for. He finally found a Friend. Oh! The experience could not be explained in words. It was simply wonderful. Till then, he lived in his own world, made an imaginary friend with whom he talked and shared almost everything. But there was a feeling of emptiness. In that hollow, all he could hear was his own sound; all he could find was his own self. So, finding another soul was too exciting for him. Soon they became best of friends. Going to movies or college or just roaming around- he enjoyed everything. There were no hidden facts. They shared everything. There was complete transparency. At least, that was what the blessed child thought.

It came as a shock to him when he realized that the person whom he trusted most was deceiving him. He was a mere puppet in his hands. A use and throw kind of material. Those friendly facial expressions and gestures were a big lie. The ‘Friend’ never loved him (actually it is really harsh on my part to conceal details of what exactly happened. But since it is my first attempt in sharing the experience with you, the readers should forgive me. And since the incident is really close to my heart, there is an emotional block). So, moving ahead, the rosy picture suddenly became dark. He lost trust in everyone. The boy never believed what just happened. It took him a long time to recover. All the love, the friendship, was fake? He could not believe his bad luck. He cursed himself again. Then, as they say, life goes on; he left the past and the place behind and came to a new city. This time, it was his career which brought him here. Life took a full circle and he again found some new people- people who were again very supportive and friendly, people who needed friends. At least that’s what the boy again thought. But he forgot the deceitful behaviour again. ‘Never judge a person from his/her face value’- suddenly the words of wisdom struck his mind. He wondered why it happens with him. He always welcomed people with open arms and heart. He had never differentiated between different people. Probably his greatest mistake was trust. That he trusted a lot was the reason he suffered a lot. Here also he found people who reminded him of the same old best friend. This made him cautious. He started feeling restless. He wanted to run away. But one cannot run away from his own self. He regretted the time of coming openly to this world. Now he wanted to be alone, talk to himself, go back to his shell. He now wonders- Am I blessed or am I cursed?